The Wife of a Minister – Her Behavior

 

June 5, 1863, I was shown that Satan is ever at work to dishearten and lead astray ministers whom God has chosen to preach the truth. The most effectual way in which he can work is through home influences, THROUGH UNCONSECRATED COMPANIONS. IF HE CAN CONTROL THE MIND OF THE WIFE, HE CAN THROUGH HER THE MORE READILY GAIN ACCESS TO THE HUSBAND, WHO IS LABORING IN WORD AND DOCTRINE TO SAVE SOULS. Many have disregarded the sacred obligation resting upon them to improve the light and privileges given, and walk as children of the light. If the vail could be parted, and all could see just how their cases are regarded in heaven, there would be an awakening, and each would with fear inquire, “What shall I do to be saved?”  {GW92 209.2}

 

THE MINISTER’S WIFE WHO IS NOT DEVOTED TO GOD IS NO HELP TO HER HUSBAND. While he dwells upon the necessity of bearing the cross, and urges the importance of self-denial, THE DAILY EXAMPLE OF HIS WIFE OFTEN CONTRADICTS HIS PREACHING AND DESTROYS ITS FORCE. In this way she becomes a great hindrance, and often leads her husband away from his duty and from God. She does not realize what a sin she is committing. Instead of seeking to be useful, seeking with true love for souls to help such as need help, she shrinks from the task, and prefers a useless life. She is not constrained by the power of Christ’s love, and by unselfish, holy principles. She does not choose to do the will of God, to be a co-worker with her husband, with angels, and with God. WHEN THE WIFE OF THE MINISTER ACCOMPANIES HER HUSBAND IN HIS MISSION TO SAVE SOULS, IT IS A GREAT SIN FOR HER TO HINDER HIM IN HIS WORK BY MANIFESTING UNHAPPY DISCONTENT. Yet, instead of entering heartily into his labors, seeking every opportunity to unite her interest and labor with his, she often studies how she can make it more easy or pleasant for herself. IF THINGS AROUND THEM ARE NOT AS AGREEABLE AS SHE COULD WISH (AS THEY WILL NOT ALWAYS BE), SHE SHOULD NOT INDULGE HOMESICK FEELINGS, OR BY LACK OF CHEERFULNESS AND BY SPOKEN COMPLAINTS HARASS THE HUSBAND AND MAKE HIS TASK HARDER, AND PERHAPS, BY HER DISCONTENT, DRAW HIM FROM THE PLACE WHERE HE COULD DO GOOD. She should not divert the interest of her husband from laboring for the salvation of souls, to sympathize with her ailments, and gratify her whimsical, discontented feelings. If she would forget herself, and labor to help others, talk and pray with poor souls, and act as if their salvation was of higher importance than any other consideration, she would have no time to be homesick. She would feel from day to day a sweet satisfaction as a reward for her unselfish labor; I CANNOT CALL IT SACRIFICE, FOR SOME OF OUR MINISTERS’ WIVES DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS TO SACRIFICE OR SUFFER FOR THE TRUTH’S SAKE.  {GW92 210.1}

 

In former years the wives of ministers endured want and persecution. When their husbands suffered imprisonment, and sometimes death, those noble, self-sacrificing women suffered with them, and their reward will be equal to that bestowed on the husband. Mrs. Boardman and the Mrs. Judsons suffered for the truth, —suffered with their companions. They sacrificed home and friends in every sense of the word, to aid their companions in the work of enlightening those who sat in darkness; to reveal to them the hidden mysteries of the word of God. Their lives were in constant peril. To save souls was their great object, and for this they could suffer cheerfully.  {GW92 211.1}

 

I was shown the life of Christ. When his self-denial and sacrifice is compared with the trials and sufferings of the wives of some of our ministers, it causes anything which they may call sacrifice to sink into insignificance. IF THE MINISTER’S WIFE SPEAKS WORDS OF DISCONTENT AND DISCOURAGEMENT, THE INFLUENCE UPON THE HUSBAND IS DISHEARTENING, AND TENDS TO CRIPPLE HIM IN HIS LABOR, ESPECIALLY IF HIS SUCCESS DEPENDS UPON SURROUNDING INFLUENCES. Must the minister of God in such cases be crippled or torn from his field of labor to gratify the feelings of his wife, which arise from an unwillingness to yield inclination to duty? The wife should conform her wishes and pleasures to duty, and give up her selfish feelings for the sake of Christ and the truth. Satan has had much to do with controlling the labors of the ministers, through the influence of selfish, ease-loving companions.  {GW92 211.2}

 

If a minister’s wife accompanies her husband in his travels, she should not go for her own special enjoyment, to visit and to be waited upon, but to labor with him. She should have a united interest with him to do good. She should be willing to accompany her husband, if home cares do not hinder, and she should aid him in his efforts to save souls. With meekness and humility, yet with a noble self-reliance, she should have a leading influence upon minds around her, and should act her part, and bear her cross and burden in meeting, and around the family altar, and in conversation at the fireside. THE PEOPLE EXPECT THIS, AND THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO EXPECT IT. IF THESE EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT REALIZED, THE HUSBAND’S INFLUENCE IS MORE THAN HALF DESTROYED. The wife of a minister can do much, if she will. If she possesses the spirit of self-sacrifice, and has a love for souls, she can with him do almost an equal amount of good.  {GW92 212.1}

 

A sister laborer in the cause of truth can understand and reach some cases, especially among the sisters, THAT THE MINISTER CANNOT. A responsibility rests upon the minister’s wife which she should not and cannot lightly throw off. God will require the talent lent her, with usury. She should work earnestly, faithfully, and unitedly with her husband to save souls. SHE SHOULD NEVER URGE HER WISHES AND DESIRES, OR EXPRESS A LACK OF INTEREST IN HER HUSBAND’S LABOR, OR DWELL UPON HOMESICK, DISCONTENTED FEELINGS. ALL THESE NATURAL FEELINGS MUST BE OVERCOME. SHE SHOULD HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE WHICH SHOULD BE UNFALTERINGLY CARRIED OUT. WHAT IF THIS CONFLICTS WITH THE FEELINGS, AND PLEASURES, AND NATURAL TASTES? THESE SHOULD BE CHEERFULLY AND READILY SACRIFICED, IN ORDER TO DO GOOD AND SAVE SOULS.  {GW92 212.2}

 

THE WIVES OF MINISTERS SHOULD LIVE DEVOTED, PRAYERFUL LIVES. But some would enjoy a religion in which there are no crosses, and which calls for no self-denial and exertion on their part. Instead of standing nobly for themselves, leaning upon God for strength, and bearing their individual responsibility, they have much of the time been dependent upon others, deriving their spiritual life from them. If they would only lean confidingly, in childlike trust, upon God, and have their affections centered in Jesus, deriving their life from Christ, the living vine, what an amount of good they might do, what a help they might be to others, what a support to their husbands, and what a reward would be theirs in the end! “Well done, good and faithful servants,” would fall like sweetest music upon their ears. The words, “Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord,” would repay them a thousand times for all suffering and trials endured to save precious souls.  {GW92 212.3}

 

A MINISTER’S WIFE SHOULD EVER HAVE A LEADING INFLUENCE ON THE MINDS OF THOSE WITH WHOM SHE ASSOCIATES, AND SHE WILL BE A HELP, OR A GREAT HINDRANCE. She either gathers with Christ, or scatters abroad. A self-sacrificing missionary spirit is lacking among the companions of our ministers. IT IS SELF FIRST, AND THEN CHRIST SECONDLY, AND EVEN THIRDLY. NEVER SHOULD A MINISTER TAKE HIS WIFE WITH HIM UNLESS HE KNOWS THAT SHE CAN BE A SPIRITUAL HELP; THAT SHE IS ONE WHO CAN ENDURE AND SUFFER, TO DO GOOD, AND TO BENEFIT SOULS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. THOSE WHO ACCOMPANY THEIR HUSBANDS SHOULD GO TO LABOR UNITEDLY WITH THEM. THEY MUST NOT EXPECT TO BE FREE FROM TRIALS AND DISAPPOINTMENTS. THEY SHOULD NOT THINK TOO MUCH OF PLEASANT FEELINGS. WHAT HAVE FEELINGS TO DO WITH DUTY?  {GW92 213.2}

 

I was cited to the case of Abraham. God said to him, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt-offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” [Genesis 22:2, 11, 12.] Abraham obeyed God. He did not consult his feelings, but with a noble faith and confidence in God he prepared for his journey. WITH A HEART RENT WITH ANGUISH HE BEHELD THE PROUD, LOVING MOTHER GAZING WITH FOND AFFECTION UPON THE SON OF PROMISE. BUT HE LED THAT LOVED SON AWAY. Abraham suffered; yet he did not let his will rise in rebellion against the will of God. Duty, stern duty, controlled him. He dared not consult his feelings, or yield to them for one moment. His only son walked by the side of the stern, loving, suffering father, talking engagingly, uttering over and over the fond name of father, and then inquiring, “Where is the sacrifice?” O, what a test for the faithful father! Angels looked with pleased wonder upon the scene. The faithful servant of God even bound his beloved son and laid him upon the wood. The knife was raised, when an angel cried out, “Abraham, Abraham, lay not thine hand upon the lad.” [Genesis 22:2, 11, 12.]  {GW92 214.1}

 

I SAW THAT IT IS NO LIGHT THING TO BE A CHRISTIAN. IT IS A SMALL MATTER TO PROFESS THE CHRISTIAN NAME; BUT IT IS A GREAT AND SACRED THING TO LEAD A CHRISTIAN LIFE. There is but a little time now to secure the immortal crown, to have a record of good acts and fulfilled duties written in heaven. Every tree is judged by its fruit. Every one will be judged according to his deeds, not his profession or his faith. The question will never be asked, How much did he profess? but, What fruit did he bear? If the tree is corrupt, the fruit is evil. If the tree is good, it cannot produce evil fruit.—Vol. 1, p. 449.  {GW92 214.2}

 

WHEN THE TRUTH, THE SOLEMN, IMPORTANT TRUTH, GETS HOLD OF THEM, SELF WILL DIE; THEN THE LANGUAGE WILL NOT BE, “I WILL GO THERE, I WILL NOT STAY HERE;” BUT THE EARNEST INQUIRY WILL BE, “WHERE DOES GOD WANT ME TO BE? WHERE CAN I BEST GLORIFY HIM, AND WHERE CAN OUR UNITED LABORS DO THE MOST GOOD?” THEIR WILL SHOULD BE SWALLOWED UP IN THE WILL OF GOD. THE WILLFULNESS AND LACK OF CONSECRATION THAT SOME OF THE MINISTERS’ WIVES MANIFEST, WILL STAND IN THE WAY OF SINNERS; THE BLOOD OF SOULS WILL BE UPON THEIR  GARMENTS. SOME OF THE MINISTERS HAVE BORNE A STRONG TESTIMONY IN REGARD TO THE DUTY AND THE WRONGS OF THE CHURCH; BUT IT HAS NOT HAD ITS DESIGNED EFFECT; FOR THEIR OWN COMPANIONS NEEDED ALL THE STRAIGHT TESTIMONY THAT HAD BEEN BORNE, AND THE REPROOF CAME BACK UPON THEMSELVES WITH GREAT WEIGHT. THEY LET THEIR COMPANIONS AFFECT THEM, AND DRAG THEM DOWN, PREJUDICING THEIR MINDS, AND THEIR USEFULNESS AND INFLUENCE ARE LOST; THEY FEEL DESPONDING AND DISHEARTENED, AND REALIZE NOT THE TRUE SOURCE OF THE INJURY. IT IS CLOSE AT HOME.  {GW92 215.1}

 

These sisters are closely connected with the work of God, if he has called their husbands to preach the present truth. These servants, if truly called of God, will feel the importance of the truth. They are standing between the living and the dead, and must watch for souls as they that must give an account. SOLEMN IS THEIR CALLING, AND THEIR COMPANIONS CAN BE A GREAT BLESSING OR A GREAT CURSE TO THEM. THEY CAN CHEER THEM WHEN DESPONDING, COMFORT THEM WHEN CAST DOWN, AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO LOOK UP AND TRUST FULLY IN GOD WHEN THEIR FAITH FAILS. OR THEY CAN TAKE AN OPPOSITE COURSE, LOOK UPON THE DARK SIDE, THINK THEY HAVE A HARD TIME, EXERCISE NO FAITH IN GOD, TALK THEIR TRIALS AND UNBELIEF TO THEIR COMPANIONS, INDULGE A COMPLAINING, MURMURING SPIRIT, AND BE A DEAD WEIGHT, AND EVEN A CURSE TO THEM.  {GW92 215.2}

 

I SAW THAT THE WIVES OF THE MINISTERS SHOULD HELP THEIR HUSBANDS IN THEIR LABORS, AND BE EXACT AND CAREFUL WHAT INFLUENCE THEY EXERT; FOR THEY ARE WATCHED, AND MORE IS EXPECTED OF THEM THAN OF OTHERS. THEIR DRESS SHOULD BE AN EXAMPLE. THEIR LIVES AND CONVERSATION SHOULD BE AN EXAMPLE, SAVORING OF LIFE RATHER THAN OF DEATH. I saw that they should take a humble, meek, yet exalted stand, not having their conversation upon things that do not tend to direct the mind heavenward. The great inquiry should be, “How can I save my own soul, and be the means of saving others?” I saw that no half-hearted work in this matter is accepted of God. He wants the whole heart and interest, or he will have none. Their influence tells, decidedly, unmistakably, in favor of the truth or against it. They gather with Jesus or scatter abroad. AN UNSANCTIFIED WIFE IS THE GREATEST CURSE THAT A MINISTER CAN HAVE. THOSE SERVANTS OF GOD THAT HAVE BEEN AND ARE STILL SO UNHAPPILY SITUATED AS TO HAVE THIS WITHERING INFLUENCE AT HOME, SHOULD DOUBLE THEIR PRAYERS AND THEIR WATCHFULNESS, TAKE A FIRM, DECIDED STAND, AND LET NOT THIS DARKNESS PRESS THEM DOWN. THEY SHOULD CLEAVE CLOSER TO GOD, BE FIRM AND DECIDED, RULE WELL THEIR OWN HOUSE, AND LIVE SO THAT THEY CAN HAVE THE APPROBATION OF GOD AND THE WATCH-CARE OF THE ANGELS. But if they yield to the wishes of their unconsecrated companions, the frown of God is brought upon the dwelling. THE ARK OF GOD CANNOT ABIDE IN THE HOUSE, BECAUSE THEY COUNTENANCE AND UPHOLD THEM IN THEIR WRONGS. — Vol. 1, p. 138.  {GW92 216.1}

 

Solemn

God bless you

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *